Not good enough, by Clifford Thurlow

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        Writers are haunted by the feeling that they’re not quite good enough. As soon as you compose a single sentence, doubt sets in. Does it need that adjective (probably not). Should it be two sentences, not one; more rhythmic, more alliterative? Less alliterative?

Cyril Connolly, George Orwell’s biographer, wrote in his non-fiction ‘The Unquiet Grave’ a cautionary tale for writers unblessed with ‘the gift’ that they often fail to reach what potential they do have through a lack of commitment or motivation, from the hypnotic lure of distraction.

Connolly on reading Orwell’s books set in Burma, Paris and Catalonia must have concluded that as a writer in troubled times – the rise of fascism in the 1930s – he was not quite good enough to add his voice to the struggle. It is far easier to clean the kitchen floor than sit down in front of the blank page. I doubt Connolly ever cleaned the kitchen floor, but he did write the chilling dictum: The enemy of art is the pram in the hall.

Aside from journalism, criticism, advertising, writing is not a profession, certainly not a well-paid one. Writers write for reasons not dissimilar to those of addicts who drink or take drugs. It is a habit they often want to quit but are compelled like Sisyphus to have one more push at the summit. They cling to the dream or delusion that once they cross the not quite good enough Rubicon, they will enter a sacred place where the words lay peacefully in reach like tiles that can be laid in a mosaic of perfect and meaningful prose.

For writers, artists, for everyone, we may draw inspiration from these three Japanese ‘Concepts for Life’ –

• Ikigai: Find what makes tour life meaningful by doing what you love, what you’re good at, and what the world needs.
• Kaizen: Make small daily improvements.
• Oubaitori: Don’t compare yourself to others. Everyone has their own path and timing in life.

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